Tag Archives: Star Wars

She Still Believes in the Force

By EarthToShawna

Do you believe in the Force?

I was 2 years old when “Star Wars” was released in 1977. I was 5 when I saw “The Empire Strikes Back.” I remember the intense revelation that Darth Vader was Luke’s father, Yoda levitating Luke’s X-Wing, and that I wanted a pet tauntaun.

Seeing “Return of the Jedi” in the theater was a bit more memorable, as I was 8. The first thing I remember about “Return of the Jedi” was that everyone was calling it “Revenge of the Jedi,” but then they changed the title.

“I used to live here, you know.” “You’re going to die here, you know.”

“Return of the Jedi” was nothing short of thrilling. The rescue of Han Solo from Jabba’s palace was like nothing else I had seen before. And I know everyone likes to hate on the Ewoks, but 8-year-old me was excited when my mom bought Wicket and Logray figures along with the Jabba the Hutt action figure, complete with dungeon and Salacious Crumb. Such cool toys. I think we got them at Sears.

My mom bought a bunch of the figures that year, which was unusual. My mom loved the movie, and even though she let us play with the toys, they were hers.

I wanted to be Princess Leia. My thin blond hair didn’t lend itself to Leia’s fabulous intergalactic hairstyles, but that didn’t stop me from insisting that my mom put my hair in Princess Leia buns anyway.

Celebrating my seventh birthday in a Leia-inspired ‘do.

I know I’m not the only one who can say the Star Wars movies were the first sci-fi films I saw, and the first I loved. They kicked off a lifetime love of fantasy, science fiction, and adventure.

The early ’80s had so many movies I loved — “The Neverending Story,” “E.T.,” “The Dark Crystal,” “Splash.” I wanted to be a mermaid, to make friends with a botanist from outer space, to ride a luck dragon.

Like so many of us who grew up on the original trilogy, I groaned when Jar Jar Binks appeared on screen. But Jar Jar, like those nasty little teddy bears, was there for the kids. And while the franchise may not be FOR kids, the films spark the imaginations of kids, and bring out the kid in all of us.

My son is a Star Wars fan, but I don’t think the movies are as epic for him as they were for those of us who watched them in the theater, because they came at a time before the world was saturated with 24/7 entertainment in the form of computers, cable TV, DVDs, etc. We didn’t go see “The Empire Strikes Back” and then get back to our Minecraft game. We absorbed Star Wars, we thought about it, we dressed up like the characters and acted out scenes from the movie. Star Wars got under our skin and into our consciousness.

I didn’t love the prequels as much as I loved the original trilogy. They aren’t as good; that’s part of it. But also, the original stories are the ones I saw when I was little, when I believed in the Force, and in magic.

People who don’t care about Star Wars or sci fi probably think we are all crazy, those of us who are as giddy as little kids, waiting for the new movie to come out. But there is just something so … visceral? universal? What is it about these movies that speaks to us? Is it the triumph of good over evil? The combination of adventure, suspense, romance, and a dash of humor? Is it the story? The special effects?

I think one of the things I love most about Star Wars is that the universe George Lucas created seems so REAL. It’s so believable, and it’s so COOL.

I’m no longer the little girl who believed in fairies and unicorns and 900-year-old Jedi masters, but I still watch the old movies because those familiar characters are like old friends, and for a few hours, I believe in magic again.

My grandparents saved this picture I made of Princess Leia, when I was 6.

Read more of Shawna’s sci-fi musings at earthtoshawna.com.

Photos courtesy of EarthtoShawna.

Here’s All the Swag You’ll Need to Survive Star Wars Midnight Screening Madness

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If you’ve ever pulled one of the delirious movie theater all-nighters preceding the opening of a wildly anticipated film, then you know that one does not simply walk into a midnight screening.

One has to be prepared. With snacks, with copious amounts of caffeine, with books and laptops and board games, with tents and blankets and umbrellas. If you’re really serious, you’ll need a costume. At the very least, you must wear the right T-shirt. For the love of Obi-Wan, please leave the guitar at home.

The way “Star Wars: Episode VII — The Force Awakens” is shaping up, it just may be the craziest midnight movie experience ever. Whether you’re planning to spend a week, a few days, or a couple hours waiting in line to nab the perfect seat and bask in carnival-like camaraderie with fellow fans, you’ll need to have your s*** together.

That’s why we’ve assembled this guide to the swag you’ll need to survive “Star Wars: Episode VII — The Midnight Screening.”

Be careful out there and, as always, may the Force be with you.

Stay hydrated or caffeinated with the Thermos Star Wars R2D2 12oz FUNtainer Straw Bottle. $14.99.

Pass the time gleaning backstory from Chuck Wendig’s “Star Wars: Aftermath,” set between “Return of the Jedi” and “Episode VII.” $16.96.

Carry all the stuff you’ll need to survive until midnight in one of Loungefly’s stylish backpacks. Prices start at $45.

Baby — or should we say, BB-8 — it’s cold outside. Bundle up and profess your love for everyone’s favorite new droid with the BB-8 Infinity Scarf. $24.99.

If you’re one of the hardcore fans who plans to camp out at the theater for days on end, this Star Wars Tauntaun Sleeping Bag is a must to get you through the long, chilly nights. $149.99.

Wear your Star Wars pride like a badge of honor with these Star Wars Rebels Rubber Bracelets. $3.57.

It’s a happy coincidence that “The Force Awakens” will arrive just in time for Christmas. Star Wars Holiday Sweaters blend these auspicious events into one warm and snuggly garment of awesomeness. $49.99.

We now live in a world where there is Star Wars everything, including gloriously weird items to nosh on while waiting to gain entrance to “The Force Awakens.” Just troll the aisles of your favorite grocery store. You’ll find ’em. Prices vary.

What kind of fan would you be if you didn’t show up to see “The Force Awakens” wearing the appropriate T-shirt? Again, you can find these almost everywhere. Prices vary.

This majestically furry hoodie needs no explanation. You know you want it. $69.99.

Let your body be your Star Wars canvas with these temporary tattoos. Bonus points if you hand them out in line. $6.95.

Die-hard fans will be standing in line and showing off their best Star Wars costumes, but many theaters are banning the carrying of faux weapons for security reasons. They’re not likely to confiscate the Mini Lightsaber Tech Lab, and you can entertain yourself by building it while you wait. $22.99.

Fangirls, you don’t have to wear your boyfriend’s ugly Star Wars T-shirt to the midnight screening of “The Force Awakens.” Thanks to Her Universe, you can express your sci-fi self with style in jackets, leggings, T-shirts, costume dresses and other apparel, like this Lightsaber Skirt. Prices vary.

Warm ears, warm heart. Keep your head toasty with the Princess Leia Beanie and other headgear. $14.99.

You can only watch “The Force Awakens” trailer so many times on your phone. When that gets old — okay, so it never gets old — entertain yourself and your posse with the Risk: Star Wars Edition Game. $29.

True Confessions: I Defended ‘Phantom Menace’ in Print

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This is kind of embarrassing.

But I’m going to let you read it anyway.

One of the first things I wrote after I started my job as a copy editor at the Antelope Valley Press was a passionate defense of “Star Wars: Episode I — The Phantom Menace,” which was receiving almost universally scathing reviews.

Ironically, this opinion piece helped land me a position as an entertainment reporter for the Showcase section, so I look back at it with a certain fondness, no matter how misguided it may be.

Keep in mind that it was penned almost immediately after the release of “Phantom Menace” and many of us were still basking in the glow of a Star Wars revival and the fact that we had just seen Jedi spinning and leaping in the air, twirling their lightsabers, like we’d always dreamed it could be.

Lavender Vroman with her Princess Leia buns and tickets to “The Phantom Menace.”

And we had yet to see the other two chapters of the new trilogy. I think many of us were willing to give “Episode I” the benefit of the doubt until the abysmal “Attack of the Clones” came out.

While I do not agree with almost everything I wrote back in 1999, I’d argue that some of the points about the original trilogy and its greatness, despite its lack of conventional “greatness,” still ring true.

I think my youthful journalistic folly can also serve as an object lesson as we anticipate the arrival of the first part of yet another Star Wars trilogy.

Only time will tell if the intense hype and euphoria surrounding “The Force Awakens” is warranted, and if there’s any greatness to be found in it.

Let’s not leap to judgement or praise. Let’s give J.J. Abrams’ incredibly risky new venture a chance to become what it’s destined to be. Hopefully, it won’t be something we later wince at and try to forget.

Below, the full text of my defense of “The Phantom Menace,” originally published in the Opinion section of the Antelope Valley Press. (Please don’t hate me.)

Critical Defense of Much-Hyped Star Wars Film

To cranky film critics everywhere — lighten up! As Darth Vader would say, “I find your lack of faith disturbing.”

You promptly pronounced the long-awaited, much-hyped “Star Wars: Episode I — The Phantom Menace” a disappointment. You cut the film down with strokes as swift as a lightsaber’s. You blasted the plot and dialogue with the heartlessness of a battle droid. Your annoyance with the comic character Jar Jar Binks had you bellowing like Wookies. You scoffed at the actors’ performances with scorn to rival the evil Emperor’s. Sinister villain Darth Maul’s lack of screen minutes made you rave like Tuscan Raiders awakened prematurely from an afternoon nap. You argued that computer animation and special effects smothered any attempt at spiritual, artistic or moral substance.

One of you went so far as to compare George Lucas to Darth Vader, in an amusingly ridiculous extended metaphor. You said the writer-director-producer of the great Star War series had finally gone too far, taking himself, and his new film, too seriously. And you didn’t even realize that you were guilty of the very thing of which you accused Lucas.

In “Episode IV,” Yoda says that “fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.” And everyone knows that these things inevitably lead to the Dark Side of the Force. And so, I suggest, do self-seriousness and the loss of a basic sense of wonder. Somewhere in that 15 year dry spell between “Return of the Jedi” and “Episode I,” you must have forgotten what made the original series so delightful and successful.

Were “Star Wars,” “The Empire Strikes Back,” and “Return of the Jedi” so remarkable because of fabulously constructed , original and flawless plots? Because of eloquent and layered dialogue to rival Shakespeare’s? Because of superb acting and deep philosophical content? Of course not.

Plot and dialogue have never been George Lucas’ strengths. He’s a storyteller on the most basic level. The original Star Wars trilogy was built on the most simplistic of plot lines, borrowing heavily from well-worn myth and fairy tales. It’s the story of an everyday hero who goes on an impossible quest and finds himself and something greater along the way. The stuff all good tales are made of. It’s cliche, it’s hokey, and people everywhere still love it.

As for dialogue … audiences in 1977 seemed to have no objection to such cheesy gems as Han Solo’s line, “Either I’m going to kill her, or I’m beginning to like her.” If nobody minded then, why should they now?

They shouldn’t, and that’s because the power of Lucas’ science-fiction epic has little to do with the spoken word. What makes him a good director is that he communicates effectively at the level that all films inherently operate on — the visual level. It is precisely Lucas’ vision of space, the things we saw when we first saw “Star Wars,” that have so captivated millions of people. It is what we saw of the characters, not only what we heard them say, but the visual impression they made on us, that endeared them to us. Who would actually say that Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher astounded audiences with their great thespian skills?

“The Phantom Menace” isn’t, and never was, intended to stand on its own. It’s a part of a whole, and to do it justice, it must be considered along with its other parts. The important elements, the things that branded the original three films into popular consciousness, are there in “Episode I,” and they make it a joy to watch.

Yes, Jar Jar Binks is annoying. Yes, it probably wouldn’t have hurt to give creepy Darth Maul more screen time. And no, Han Solo wasn’t there to grin his rascally grin and crack up the audience with his, “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.” Get over it.

The first of the prequels isn’t perfect, but it succeeds in the same way the other three did. For, once again, Lucas takes us places we’ve never been, fills our eyes with sights never before seen — the Venice-like, regal planet Naboo, the metropolitan, silvery city of Coruscant and the underwater bubble village of the Gungans. He introduces us to a sad and beautiful queen arrayed in costumes Madonna could only dream of and Jedi in the midst of duels so full of motion and power they make our heads spin. We meet an innocent boy named Anakin with an arrogant streak, foreboding a downfall to come. Even Darth Maul’s short but memorable appearance hints of a greater evil awaiting us in the next episode.

“Episode I” is only the foundation for the remainder of three prequels and as a start it will do just fine.

So, all you film critics — I sense that there is still good in you. See the film again, this time on the lighter side of the Force.

Jar Jar Binks photo: zap2it.com.

When the Force Awakens Grief Instead of Joy …

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By BRENNA HUMANN

I, my husband and my family hold back tears of unbearable grief with each new announcement heralding the long-awaited release of “The Force Awakens.”

We can think only of the one who is not here to watch it with us. The one who we know would love the experience the most. The one who was, in my world, the “other Skywalker.” My brother.

Paul was an epic fanboy of the caliber that is often joked about in nerd culture, but is actually reached by very few. The kind who could just as easily quote Star Wars, Star Trek or Tolkien to students in his classes as an English professor, as he could top-rank in “Magic: The Gathering” tournaments in the gaming Mecca of San Jose. The kind who could just as easily joke with friends about the most obscure story arcs of the most obscure comic book characters, as he could compose and deliver professional academic whitepapers on their literary cultural significance. Everyone he knew loved him.

Paul Humann

He was 33 when he died last June of an extremely rare form of mucosal melanoma, eight months after his diagnosis and the unimaginable pain and agony that followed. It simply does not seem possible that his battle is over. I still cannot understand it.

When we were young, in a youthful Skywalker-like naiveté, and a very similar alien isolation in the Mojave Desert, I never realized how much my brother, his life, his experiences, his hopes and dreams, were vital to the very predication of my own, until he was gone.

As Gen Y-ers well know, the shared experiences we grew up with –- largely shaped by film, TV, and other pop culture watched in our parents’ family rooms –- has become not only our shared self-referential language, but a means by which we continue to understand and interpret the rest of the world. Art speaks truth, now more than ever.

And a cinematic touchstone like Star Wars is of a defining magnitude in Western life experience. It’s a critical piece of cultural literacy -– one that infinitely informs pop culture, archetypal artistic references, and in-jokes that define relationships. I’ve always thought the story is in fact SO BIG because of the deep tribute it pays to a global awareness of the mythological concepts it imitates.

So when a piece of your life is so formative, your memories of it are colored by who experienced it with you. For me, that was always Paul. I don’t have any memories of a life before he came along.

Brenna Humann and her brother, Paul.

And for geeks like us, those companions who’ve always been with you, in the back of your mind, also includes icons like those of Star Wars. Have you ever noticed how deeply neo-Platonic dualism runs in George Lucas’ plot lines? The character dyads abound. Obi-Wan and Vader. Han and Chewie. R2-D2 and C-3PO. Luke and Leia. There are always two.

Lucas’ brand of mythic dualism was never more vividly real for me than when I felt the loss of my own other half –- no one shares more of your life experiences than a sibling does. And Star Wars will forever be defined for me by my brother. By the Mos Eisley Cantina poster in his room. By his extensive Boba Fett collection. By the endless speculative conversations we shared as rumors of the prequels and sequels first began when we were teenagers.

I remember having so many arguments with my brother and my husband, both devoted fanboys, that the Star Wars prequels were, in fact, dreadfully terrible films. A realization they were of course reticent to make, in their faithful enthusiasm for the revival. But one they nonetheless regretfully conceded, as they floundered in the wake of total narrative disaster left by Jar Jar Binks, Midi-chlorians, and other epic flaws. And I did gloat.

Another point of discussion was one of the sharpest criticisms against Lucas’ writing — his unapologetic outright thievery from world myth and religion in his storytelling, making in some cases very little attempt to recloak whole storylines in a fabric more appropriate to the Star Wars tapestry. I remember the look of shock on my brother’s face when I explained that one of the biggest reasons I couldn’t stand this linguistic laziness in the prequels was the naming of the Skywalker mother as “Padmé.”

Taking college classes at the time on world religions, I had to break it to him that the word “padme” means “lotus” or “yoni” in Sanskrit — read: Vagina.

“Really George Lucas, your name for a classic mother figure is… Vagina?” went the conversation. Talk about female objectification. Natalie Portman did what she could to bring substance to the good Senator from Naboo, but the Mary Sue named “Vagina” dying of a broken heart in childbirth? Honestly. Classic female fridging, with an even frostier layer of gender objectification, in my opinion.

Then there was the time Paul told us that, in his graduate work in creative writing, another (female) student had been assigned to peer review a poem he wrote. She returned it with a graphic picture drawn over his text, as her commentary –- one of those “only in college” moments. He then returned her work with a picture of the Sarlacc Pit monster drawn on top, complete with hovercraft, gangplank and scrambling stormtroopers. A priceless play on vagina dentata myth.

My brother and I liked to joke that, in our –- often called “useless” -– humanities majors, we were “classically trained” in world myth and iconography. He took his fascination into a creative writing degree, attempting to find as he said, a “major in comic books.”

He succeeded, basing his curriculum as an English professor on selections from “The Watchmen,” “The Sandman” and “The Dark Knight Returns.” I took mine into a philosophy degree, which I have not used since, other than to marvel at the exceptional lack of logical rhetoric in American society.

But he always called me to ask my thoughts on his course content, the logic of certain rhetorical usages, or the history behind classic cultural representations. And I always called him to ask what the hell to do with my life.

He had a remarkable, Jedi-like way of seeing through to the core motivations of a person, and being able to communicate with virtually anyone, that I have never possessed. And one which I fear I will never hear the wisdom of again in this life.

Each jaw-dropping Star Wars trailer image I see, or soul-stirring refrain I hear from that epic score we all know so well, is a stabbing, breath-stealing pang of sorrow.

“Paul would love to see this, but …”

The prospect of what secrets and adventure lay ahead on the screen looms hollow. Like a gaping desert Sarlacc Pit, but with the heart-stopping battle on the gangplank already lost.

I hope, as said by Boba Fett in the ignominious Star Wars Holiday Special, that “We’ll meet again.” I miss him.

The Star Wars Holiday Special

Brenna Humann was born and raised in the Antelope Valley, an alumna of California public education from preschool to university. She has worked as a journalist, nonprofit manager, and grantwriter, and remains an avid student of world religion and culture. Though her late brother Paul was strong in the force, with a power she did not understand and could never have, he has now become more powerful than anyone could possibly imagine. For her part, she prefers not to believe in no-win scenarios.

Photos courtesy of Brenna Humann.

Leia, the Disney Princess with a Blaster

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BY FAWN KEMBLE

Before Merida and Mulan, back when I was a girl, there was only one badass princess in my life.

While Disney princesses of the time lay passively awaiting their prince, or whined to their fathers, or cleaned house, we strong little girls could dream of being more than just the romantic interest of the main character. We too could be Jedi princesses, powerful forces in the Rebel Alliance.

Fawn Kemble

When we meet Leia, she is on a mission to save her entire planet, not prancing around in a ball gown or sweeping up. She risks her life for the greater good. She is an active member of the team in the Star Wars trilogy (What? There were only 3, right?).

Yes, she is rescued by Luke and Han, but Han ends up frozen for a bit and Luke needs help all the time. She, just like them, has the opportunity to grow as a character and to have greater concerns than who she’ll end up with. In fact, she ends up in an intellectually stimulating relationship, on equal footing with Han.

I know she is not the perfect feminist icon (don’t even get me started on the gold slave Leia bikini), and most of her Jedi powers aren’t developed until later, in the book series.

Still, as a little girl, I never felt like I couldn’t run around with a blaster or lightsaber with the boys, they never said girls couldn’t be Jedis, and she has some of the sassiest lines to quote and requote.

Now, I call my lovely, feisty, intelligent little niece my Jedi Princess and I hope that when she’s a bit older, she’ll want to go to Disneyland with Leia buns and a blaster as her Disney Princess outfit.

Fawn Kemble, dueling with nephew Graden.

Fawn Kemble lives in L.A. and gets to be a professional feminist, helping pregnant women. She got sucked into that Star Wars life at a young age by her oldest brother and her sister, Lavender Vroman. She didn’t choose the Lucas life, it chose her.

Photos: en.wikipedia.org; courtesy of Fawn Kemble.

Growing Up Star Wars: A Photo Gallery

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If you’re a child of the ’70s or ’80s, chances are you have at least one Star Wars memory you treasure, if not dozens and dozens of them.

A trio of (at least sort-of) grown-up fans of sci-fi’s greatest space opera were generous enough to share a few of their favorite memories, immortalized through the magic of childhood photos.

Below, they take us back to what it was like to be a kid, crazy for Star Wars.

Best Dad Ever

Above, Jacob Patterson sits in the cockpit of his father’s amazing creation.

“When I was about three or four and living in the Bay Area, my father was working as a carpenter and built us a snowspeeder out of wood and a discarded salad bar sneeze guard,” Patterson said.

“It was awesome!”

Jacob Patterson lives in Gig Harbor, Wash., with his wife Stephanie. He listens to a myriad of Star Wars podcasts while working in the Hoth-like conditions of the Walmart dairy cooler. He and Stephanie are counting down the days to The Force Awakens on their Star Wars advent calendar.

A Happy Vader Birthday

Shaun Griffith sent over these scrapbook pages of his memorable sixth birthday party.

He had this to say about the Vader impersonator who made an appearance:

“He had a flat tire and was running late. I’ve been told he was a short Vader but he was still taller than me. I made sure to call him Lord Vader. Respect. That’s me when I answered the door. Dig the Ewok invitation and the Vader cake. Circa June 1984.

Shaun Griffith is a California native and a Hayward farmer (non-moisture) who went south to become a Santa Barbara Gaucho with a degree in film. He is married to an LBC princess with a sci-fi allergy. He works as an eCommerce Ops manager for a company with conference rooms named Ewok and Chewbacca and presently resides in the Bay of the Half Moon.

Jedi Pajama Party

Eric Schoen of Woodland Hills has the following explanation for the cute Christmas photo above.

“I think it’s probably ’83 and I’m 8. Rocking those Return of the Jedi PJs so hard, that not only have I tucked the top into the way-too-high bottoms, but it appears I’m in the middle of tucking the bottoms into my socks. Back off ladies, I’m taken.”

Eric Schoen was born in 1975, and was just a bit too young to see Star Wars during it’s first run, but thanks to the ‘Story of Star Wars’ 2-record set and his 12-year-old uncle, he had the whole movie memorized by the time he got to see it in it’s ’78 re-release.

If he could sneak into the backyard of his childhood home, he’d probably be able to dig up several hundred dollars’ worth of figures that bit it in a trench during one of many Hoth battle reenactments. It never snowed in Reseda, but he found a gallon-sized container of powdered chalk in the garage that looked like snow.

Unless that wasn’t chalk … which would explain why he forgets most of the ’80s. And why DOES he have memories of liking those made-for-TV Ewok movies?

May the Force Be Merry: A Star Wars Christmas Gift Guide

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Since Force Friday unleashed a seemingly endless blitz of Star Wars merchandise onto store shelves, you’d think it would be easier than ever to shop for fans of George Lucas’ sci-fi saga.

But there’s so much stuff out there (and a lot of it is just cheap crap, if you’ll pardon me for saying so), it can be overwhelming and frustrating to sort through the piles and piles of collectibles, toys, T-shirts, action figures, and other goodies.

Fortunately, we’ve simplified the Star Wars gift-buying experience by picking out a few of the most promising buys to be found this holiday season.

Here’s an easy guide to finding that perfect Star Wars-themed Christmas gift.

May the force be with you, and your days be merry and bright.

Give the Ultimate Gift

When the new Episode VII merchandise was released on Force Friday, the belle of the ball was undoubtedly BB-8. The Sphero BB-8 App Enabled Droid is as close as you can get to owning your own droid. You can guide him with a smartphone or tablet. He recognizes and reacts to your voice and records and plays virtual holographic videos. Plus, the rotund little guy’s attitudes and actions evolve as you interact with him. $149.95. Get it here.

And if you can’t shell out $150?

A more affordable option for BB-8 admirers — the Star Wars Episode VII The Force Awakens BB-8 Super Plush. $15.67. Find it here.

For the young Jedi

Give that young Jedi in your life the coolest new weapon wielded in The Force Awakens. The Star Wars The Force Awakens Kylo Ren Deluxe Electronic Lightsaber extends with a flick of the wrist and simulates classic lights and sounds. $29.99. Buy it here.

Go Back to Where It Started

What better way to prepare for The Force Awakens than by revisiting George Lucas’ original trilogies? Star Wars: The Complete Saga (Episodes I-VI) [Blu-ray] presents all six movies in high definition, along with 40 hours of special features. $84.99. Get it here.

For Heroes in the Making

Kids can recreate the classic Episode IV escape scene with Playskool Heroes Star Wars Millennium Falcon. This starter kit of sorts includes a push-activated blaster cannon, sensor dish, and ladder, and three figures, Han Solo, Chewbacca and R2-D2. Other sets are available too, including Endor Adventure and Echo Base Encounter. $39.99. Find it here.

The Most Epic Bedtime Story of All

Train up young Padawans in the ways of the Force with the Star Wars Little Golden Book Boxed Set. Six books recount the stories of Episodes I-VI. $24.99. Buy it here.

For Builders Young and Old

Collectors and little builders will find a multitude of Star Wars Lego sets to choose from at shop.lego.com. We’re especially fond of Poe’s X-Wing Fighter. It’s equipped with spring-loaded shooters, stud shooters, retractable landing gear, opening wings and more. $79.99. Get it here.

For the Fashionista Who’s One With the Force

Fandom meets high fashion with Rock & Republic’s Star Wars R2-D2 Embellished Tee, shimmering with a rhinestone graphic of the most lovable droid in the universe. Other glam Star Wars inspired designs are also available. $19.99. Find it here.

An Elegant Weapon for a More Civilized Age

Every Star Wars fan should have their own lightsaber. And the closest thing to owning the real thing comes courtesy of Force FX. May we recommend the Star Wars The Black Series Kylo Ren Force FX Deluxe Lightsaber? It features realistic light effects, movie sound effects, three blades, a metal hilt and a display stand. Whether you sway toward the dark or the light side, Force FX offers many other varieties of the Jedi’s signature weapon as well. $199.99. Buy it here.

Keep it Clean

Who wouldn’t want to see Luke Skywalker’s peppy little droid first thing in the morning? Soaping up has never been more fun with Oxygenics Star Wars R2-D2 3-Spray Fixed Showerhead. It features three different spray settings. There’s also a Darth Vader handheld version. $24.99. Get it here.

Artoo on the Go

Carry Artoo with you wherever you go with the Star Wars R2-D2 Mini Dome Bag. The faux leather tote costs $68. Find it here.

Surprise Them

Want to put a little mystery into your favorite Star Wars fan’s life? The HeroBox Star Wars Saga Silver Edition 2.0 ships 70 bucks worth of surprise Star Wars goodies, including a T-shirt, to their door. $49. ($69 for the Gold Edition.) Buy it here.

(The) Death (Star) Never Tasted So Good

Ain’t no party like a party with Star Wars Death Star Chip & Dip Bowls. Each bowl holds 64 oz. There’s also a version starring Artoo and Threepio. $11.99. Get it here.

Form a Romantic Rebel Alliance

Declare your undying affection for that special someone, Han and Leia-style, with these matching I Love You/I Know Rings. The engraved surgical stainless steel bands come in sizes 5 to 11. The Rebel Alliance symbol is emblazoned inside. $19.99. Find it here.

For Galactic Gamers

One of the hottest gifts for gamers this season is the new Disney Infinity: Star Wars: The Force Awakens Play Set (3.0 Edition). It features a pair of Rey and Finn figures. Other characters are sold separately. The set won’t be available until The Force Awakens officially opens in theaters on Dec. 18. $34.99. Preorder it here.

Yoda Santa photo: www.forcecast.net.

Battlefront No Match for Old Republic, Darth Revan

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EDITOR’S NOTE: The recent release of the video game Star Wars Battlefront left at least one fan pining for Knights of the Old Republic and a memorable villain who is no longer canon.

By NICK VROMAN

A long time ago on a couch far far away …

I was introduced to Darth Revan, the most awesome character from the Star Wars Extended Universe that you have most likely never heard of.

It was a month after my sci-fi loving and brilliant movie critic wife, Lavender, and I were married in June 2003 that my favorite Star Wars video game was released, which consequently sparked a love affair with the dark side of the Star Wars universe

Or as Lavender would put it, the universe that is not canon and therefore does not exist. She has flown from one side of this galaxy to the other. She has seen a lot of strange stuff, but she never has seen anything to make her want to believe in Anakin Solo, a living Boba Fett, or the Emperor’s clones.

Darth Revan’s story brilliantly unfolds in Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. It was developed by Bioware and published by LucasArts. Bioware has cultivated a reputation for crafting immersive and compelling role-playing games over the years with critically acclaimed titles such as the Dragon Age and Mass Effect series.

Knights of the Old Republic may have slightly outdated graphics now but the story is still my favorite of Bioware’s epics and its blue prints can be seen in the company’s follow-up ventures.

If you have not heard of Darth Revan, you are missing out on an epic tale set 4,000 years prior to the rise of the infamous Darth Vader and his heroic progeny that so impacted the Force. Darth Revan’s story is no less Shakespearean in scope and stays true to the struggle between the light and dark sides of the force in a time when there was more than just master and apprentice. It even features possible redemption for a fallen hero, revealed by a jawa-dropping plot twist.

The game was released May 30, 2013, for iOS iPad, later updated on Dec. 19, 2013, for iPhone and iPod Touch, and on December 23, 2014, on Google Play for Android devices, according to Wikipedia.

Darth Revan’s story is a must for fans of the extended universe and role-playing video games alike. When the shine of battling on-line gamers in repetitive warfare wears off, pick up this masterful, story driven adventure and find out for yourself about the legacy of Darth Revan.

Nick Vroman is the Salacious Crumb to Lavender’s Jabba the Hutt. He is way too old to still be playing video games but clings to them like a force ghost to Dagobah. When he is not playing video games in the dead of night, he can be found teaching a high school special education class. He is father to an aspiring Jedi princess.

Is ‘Jurassic World’ Director One With the Force?

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He’s got a way with dinosaurs but does he have a way with the Force?

Thanks to a little movie titled “Jurassic World,” we’ve all seen what director Colin Trevorrow can do.

The filmmaker, who shepherded the “Jurassic Park” reboot to a billion dollar box office — it’s the third highest-grossing movie in history — has been entrusted with an even greater challenge, directing “Star Wars: Episode IX.”

Colin Trevorrow

Trevorrow has certainly proved his ability to deliver action and adventure on an epic scale, oversee a massive production involving intricate visual effects, and successfully overcome the risks of reintroducing a favorite franchise to moviegoers new and old.

But is he up to the task of delivering the final installment in Disney’s new Star Wars trilogy?

Strangely enough, it is Trevorrow’s little-seen first feature that inspires confidence that he just may be the man for the job.

A weirdly irresistible sci-fi rom-com with a wildly satisfying twist, 2012’s “Safety Not Guaranteed” demonstrates that the director is resourceful when it comes to low-budget special effects, but more importantly, he’s a big geek with a firm grasp of story and character, and tons of heart.

That’s just what “Episode IX” will need.

If you haven’t seen “Safety Not Guaranteed,” you’re seriously missing out. In case you’re still not convinced, here’s a glowing review of the film.

Safety Not Guaranteed, 2012
R (language including some sexual references)
86 minutes
(The movie is available to stream via Amazon.)

The weird and whimsical “Safety Not Guaranteed” is a pleasantly oddball romantic comedy with science-fiction undertones designed to appeal to the secret — or not so secret — geek in all of us.

It’s one of a line of films by brothers Mark and Jay Duplass (the siblings helped produce the movie and Mark stars in it) that are irresistibly sweet-natured, completely devoid of cynicism, and surprise us by going in wonderfully unexpected directions.

“Safety” is laced with quirky, subtle, slightly awkward humor and it’s unabashedly guileless when it comes to its time travel plot, even though it isn’t really about time travel.

The comedy is a great showcase for Audrey Plaza, of TV’s “Parks & Recreation,” who employs her signature deadpan sarcasm to full effect as Darius, a disillusioned Seattle magazine intern who always expects the worst in life.

When we first meet her, she’s in the middle of a job interview at a chain restaurant and her cluelessly frank answers to the questions the manager throws at her tell us this is a woman incapable of anything but painful honesty.

Darius gets a break from the monotony of her existence when she’s assigned to help a reporter named Jeff (Jake Johnson of Fox sitcom “New Girl”) track down a Washington man who placed an eccentric classified ad seeking a companion to go back in time with him.

(“Must bring your own weapons. I have only done this once before,” it reads.)

The two head to the coastal town of Ocean View with another intern, the shy, bespectacled Arnau (Karan Soni), and Jeff promptly sets about his real business — paying a visit to his former summer-fling dream girl — leaving his assistants to do all the detective work.

Darius throws herself into the story and discovers the ad was written by Kenneth (Duplass), a peculiar grocery store employee with a penchant for talking physics and a paranoid conviction that he’s being followed.

Is Kenneth crazy or could he really be on to something? Darius is intrigued and sets about trying to win him over in an attempt to find out. Improbably adorable time travel training montages ensue.

Director Colin Trevorrow and writer Derek Connolly — New York University grads who met as interns on “Saturday Night Live” — apparently based the film on a real-life classified ad placed as a gag to fill space in a magazine.

They’ve taken this novel idea and allowed their imaginations to run wild, but their story is more character study than sci-fi epic, exploring the universal longing to return to that one happy moment in childhood before innocence was lost.

In a script populated by characters who can’t seem to move past childhood, Duplass and Plaza display a warm, low-key chemistry that makes their part of the story a lot more interesting than the subplots involving Johnson’s sleazy journalist and Soni’s lonely nerd.

Duplass once again proves himself to be a lovably scruffy everyman in a film that requires him to sing and play the zither, wear a ridiculous Rambo headband, bust out questionable martial arts skills, brandish a gun and break into a lab in a hilarious spoof of Hollywood infiltration scenes. He makes us like a guy who is undeniably crazy on some level.

Trevorrow’s no-frills directorial style is unobtrusively low budget with pretty scenery shot in rainy Ocean Shores, Wash., which can look alternately gloomy, creepy or romantic.

“Safety’s” ending is virtually guaranteed to get people talking, but I loved it. It’s “Back to the Future” crossed with “Sleepless in Seattle.”

Photos: movieweb.com; www.starwars.com.

Four Life Lessons from the Skywalker Twins (for My Children)

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By DAVID RIVAS

“Walmart TV ads inspire and motivate,” said no one ever. When they feature fan-boy/girl parents and a fanboy grandpa mentoring their young listeners with Star Wars-related advice, however — as the retail behemoth does in a recent ad campaign promoting their new Star Wars merchandise in anticipation of the much-hyped “Episode VII” — we can make an exception. The commercials really capture the essence of my experience with the epic space opera.

My older brother and I, thirteen years and no other siblings between us, had very few common interests; sci fi was one of them. I vividly and fondly remember my brother, a responsible grown-up NASA engineer, and I, a typically apathetic teenager, bonding while making a three-movie theater sprint to catch the 1997 theatrical rerelease of the original trilogy in one day.

I also fondly remember introducing my then skeptical girlfriend to the saga as we watched the new trilogy in the early 2000s. Despite its flaws, Episodes I-III served as a gateway drug into the beloved galaxy far, far away, and as an inspiration for one of my favorite Halloween costumes. She has since become my wife of eleven years and a bigger nerd than I.

Halloween circa 2003.

More recently, George Lucas worked his magic as I watched all six films consecutively with my children (an eight-year-old son and a five-year-old daughter) — Episodes IV, V, VI, I, II, and III, in that order, as God intended.

By the time Anakin turns to the darkside, a single tear rolled down my son’s cheek, and I knew he got it. Now, my family and I, along with the human race, eagerly anticipate the robe-clad, lightsaber-wielding bonding that will take place on December 18, 2015, when “Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens” opens.

Those Walmart commercials rightly suggest that this story has a propensity to bring people together, despite generational gaps. Anthropologists or sociologists can explain how it’s ingrained in our collective psyche and shape what we value as a human race much more eloquently, and more convincingly than I’ll attempt here.

I’ll simply share four life lessons that I hope my kids can learn from the Skywalker twins.

Solving Problems with Non-Violence

I know. Lightsaber duels, spacecraft dog fights, Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen’s charred remains: these hardly seem nonviolent. An entire planet gets blown up in the first film. Although it’s hard to imagine playing Star Wars without mouthing the obligatory electrified sound effects of lightsabers as they crackle together in an inherently violent, epic battle, ultimately, Luke saves the day through an incredible act of nonviolence in “Return of the Jedi.”

Luke surrenders himself to the Emperor and Darth Vader, hoping to buy his friends time to destroy the deflector shield generator protecting the second Death Star so the entire rebel armada can sneak up on the Empire and win! Or so he thinks. Really, this turn out to be an elaborate ruse to destroy the rebellion and capture Luke.

This act of sacrifice seems to be in vain. After Forcing his dad off the stairs in battle, Luke says, with a confidence fueled by a blind, Force-driven faith that Vader can still be redeemed, “I will not fight you, father.” Eventually, Luke’s pacifist stance results in finding himself at the business end of the Emperor’s Force-lightning. Unable to bear the sight, Vader suffers a fatal wound, saving Luke from the Emperor.

Luke’s sacrificial decision to abstain from violence inspires the remnant of Anakin Skywalker that was deep down inside of Darth Vader to commit one final act of self-sacrifice, and the universe is saved. Star Wars teaches us that nonviolent conflict resolution encourages others to do good.

Kids, in real life, if we were all merely decent to one another, conflicts can be avoided.

My kids posing as Finn and Rey on Halloween featuring the Antelope Valley’s desert landscape as a background.

Subverting Unfair Societal Expectations

May I harken the Walmart commercial one last time, specifically the scene where a mother asks her daugher, “Why doesn’t Leia just let the boys rescue her?” The adorable little girl mumbles a character analysis that I hope my daughter will always come back to when she reflects as an adult why she thought Princess Leia was so cool: “Because she’s a modern, empowered woman unfettered by the antiquated gender roles of a bygone era.”

In a turn of fate that my daughter loves, Leia takes the blaster from one of her rescuers, and blasts a hole in the wall to rescue herself, Luke, Han, and Chewie. She’s an accomplished leader, who despite taking a beating, keeps going.

So much so, she impresses Darth Vader with her resilience to withstand interrogation in Episode IV. She plays an active role in leading the rebellion, particularly as she gives orders to the squadron circling around her like a team gathers around their coach in locker room listening to the battle plan before the Battle of Hoth in Episode V.

In Episode VI, Leia rescues Han Solo (again) from his carbonite captivity, and steps into to the frontlines in the climactic Battle of Endor, while nurturing and befriending the Ewoks. She finds that perfect balance between warrior and nurturer found in the greatest of leaders.

A well-rounded character and role model, Leia even speaks some of the most memorable lines in the series. Just to quote a few:

“Governor Tarkin, I should have expected to find you holding Vader’s leash. I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board.”

“Aren’t you a little short for a stormtrooper?”

“Why, you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking Nerf herder.”

“I know.”

Don’t let society’s gender roles limit who you are. Son, embrace artistic and emotional expression. Daughter, play with whatever toys from whatever color Target aisle you like. Defy expectations, especially to do what you know is right. Never resist a witty quip.

Seeking Instruction from Wise Teachers

The theme of looking for help from those more seasoned than yourself comes across prominently throughout the six films. Luke has to look to Yoda and Old Ben, even post-mortem Ben, for guidance in the Force. Even Leia, the embodiment of self-reliance (as discussed above) in the series, opens the story with a call for help to the venerable Obi Wan Kenobi, the galaxy’s “only hope,” exemplifying what a healthy balance of independence and dependence looks like.

I suspect that since Luke, Leia, Han, Chewie, Artoo, and Threepio, who have been around the galaxy a time or two, are in the forthcoming installment, this theme will continue. Now seasoned and thirty years wiser, the original cast will mentor Rey, Finn, Poe, and BB-8.

Just like age can erode chasms between generations, mentorship acts as a bridge, simultaneously connecting us to the past while influencing the future. Maybe it’s just because I’m a school teacher by trade that I’m placing such high esteem to the mentor relationship: I feel like I bring my positive learning experiences to my teaching practice, and I hope that in turn, I’m positively influencing the future, both with my students and my own children.

So, kids, learn what you can from the teachers (in and out of the classroom) in your life. Then go and do likewise; be the Obi Wan in someone’s life.

That time I ran into Mark Hamill, Luke Skywalker himself, at a USC football game. We spoke about film, life, and beating UCLA. USC lost that day.

Success Can be Achieved Amid Setbacks and Failures

Luke, with the help of his diverse band of friends, redeems his father, and restores order and hope to the galaxy. But the voyage, like a sloppily navigated hyperspace jump through an asteroid field, was bumpy … and it didn’t just take 12 parsecs either.

Luke loses his aunt and uncle, his home, and his right hand, finds out his dad’s been trying to kill him, and he kisses his sister. In fact, the first twenty minutes into “Return of the Jedi,” Luke has gotten himself and all of his friends captured by Jabba the Hutt. Just as all seems lost, Luke pulls a reverse diving board stunt, catching his brand new upgraded, green lightsaber in the battle over the Sarlacc pit.

What losses did Leia suffer? Oh yeah, she just lost her entire home world!

Each entry in the six-film series features a peripeteia, a reversal of fortune at a moment when all seems lost: When the proton torpedo shot needed to destroy the Death Star is an impossible shot; when in front of you Darth Vader stands pointing a lightsaber and behind you is the endless Bespin sky; when you’re locked out of the shield generator control room while surrounded by stormtroopers on the forest moon of Endor.

Whatever your metaphor of choice, you learn from setbacks and try again.

Kids, when life gives you the blues, make blue milk.

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David Rivas lives in Lancaster, California, with his wife and two kids. He teaches English and the ways of the Force at Highland High School.

Photos courtesy of David Rivas.

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